3 Mindset-Shifting Ideas

3 Mindset-Shifting Ideas

January 30, 2024

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There’s no such thing as a bad emotion—only bad reactions to emotions. Unhappy people will often be upset by your happiness. Don’t ever make the mistake of apologizing for it.

This Week’s Breakthroughs

In last week’s newsletter, I asked you to think of where you have (and don’t have) wisdom in your life. Kasie shared her journey towards wisdom in one of the most important areas—relationships:

The year of my college graduation, 2021, marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life: I found myself in a romantic relationship. The man I loved, and still deeply care about, presented a complex challenge—he was grappling with alcoholism. I was aware of this struggle from the very beginning. Yet, like many who find themselves in similar circumstances, I fell into the trap of believing that I could change him. Now looking back, it seems rather naive of me to have believed that his love for me could overpower his addiction.

As the relationship continued, I found myself compromising a lot, tolerating actions and behaviors that did not align with my beliefs and values. I pushed my boundaries, sacrificing my morals in a desperate attempt to salvage what was left of our relationship. It felt as though I was falling into a pit of insanity, trying to hold on to something that was clearly not meant for me.

Now that it has come to an end, I’ve finally come to a realization. I believe that I have gained wisdom in knowing that the issue was not with him for he had been transparent about his struggles from the beginning. It’s not that people are incapable of changing, but I’ve come to accept that change cannot be imposed—it has to come from within. This understanding makes me question why I allowed myself to endure the disrespect for so long.

The biggest lesson that I’ve gained from this experience is the importance of learning to ‘let go’ and detach myself when it is necessary for my personal well-being. I’ve realized that my tendency to cling to people might actually be a way for me to escape confronting my own personal issues that need attention. During the course of that relationship I spent so much of my energy trying to make him wake up and realize his own potential. So much that I forgot to focus on my own.

I have and I am still working on learning to ‘let go’ and stop forcing things to work out. All I can do is wish the best for him and move on with my life.

We are often drawn to chaotic romantic partners because their chaos guarantees that we will always feel needed.

In contrast, dating someone with their shit together is, in some ways, terrifying—they are so functional and self-sufficient and self-contained, how could we ever know that they need us?

The answer is: they don’t need us. Yet they choose to spend their life with us anyway. And that is far more powerful.

As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.

Until next week,

Greg Tomchick

Happy Mindset Monday!

Here are 3 mindset-shifting ideas to consider this week.

I. Embrace Growth through Challenges: Instead of avoiding challenges, view them as opportunities for growth. Embracing challenges with a positive mindset allows you to learn and adapt, paving the way for personal and professional development. Remember, every obstacle you overcome brings you closer to success.

​II. Practice Gratitude Daily: Take a moment each day to express gratitude for the things you have, the people in your life, and the opportunities you’ve been given. Gratitude cultivates a positive outlook and helps you focus on the abundance around you, fostering a deeper sense of connection and contentment.

III. Shift from “I Can’t” to “I’ll Try”: Replace self-limiting thoughts with empowering ones. When you catch yourself saying, “I can’t do this,” challenge that belief and rephrase it as “I’ll try my best.” This subtle shift in language opens up possibilities and encourages you to take action, leading to greater accomplishments.

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